{"id":1884,"date":"2025-10-14T21:58:31","date_gmt":"2025-10-15T02:58:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/?p=1884"},"modified":"2025-10-14T22:02:36","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T03:02:36","slug":"crisis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/?p=1884","title":{"rendered":"Crisis"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A death? Lost a job? A divorce? A natural disaster? Whatever? When people you know are going through a crisis this is the time for you to exhibit character. Here are rules to remember and how to do it the right way:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Never, EVER, say, \u201c<em>Let me know what you need<\/em>.\u201d Or just as bad, \u201c<em>Keep me informed<\/em>.\u201d They are going through a crisis and you just put more responsibility on their shoulders. They have to reach out to you? Uh, NO! It is YOU that needs to reach out. It is YOU that needs to make the effort. They have enough going on. You asking them to put forth more effort so you can tell everyone you were there for them? Yeah, no. You don\u2019t ask, you DO without being asked! Send food, you show up and scrub toilets, bring clothes, do laundry, take the kids to soccer, find out when the cable repair guy is showing up, You DON\u2019T ask\u2026.you do!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201c<em>I know how you feel<\/em>\u201d should never be uttered from your lips. No, you don\u2019t. Everyone lives through a crisis differently. Don\u2019t try to pretend you know; you don\u2019t. You may have experienced the same type of trauma, but you don\u2019t know how they feel.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201c<em>You\u2019ll get through this.<\/em>\u201d Good Lord! NOOOOOO\u2026\u2026 Try, \u201c<em>I\u2019m going to be here with you until you get through this. You want to talk, I\u2019ll talk. You want to sit in silence; I\u2019ll sit right here. You want to cry, I\u2019ll hold your hand and hand over Kleenex.<\/em>\u201d But telling them their drama and pain is temporary in the hopes they will feel better? Oh please.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201c<em>This happened to me once<\/em>\u201d\u2026. or \u201c<em>When my parent died<\/em>\u2026..\u201d No, NO, <strong><u>NO<\/u><\/strong>! Being there for someone in a crisis sucks. It sucks, period. But it doesn\u2019t suck for you as much as it sucks for them. So here is your chance to put your big boy\/girl panties on and be there. BE THERE! This isn\u2019t about you; this is about them. Your job is to help them get through it by letting them deal with the crisis issue while you take care of everything else AND also help where you can with the crisis itself.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If you really want to help, then help. Be there. Do something. Ask NOTHING of the person in trouble, they are busy enough. Get up, show up, and take up the tasks they shouldn\u2019t be messing with.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>This is your chance to show your colors, your character, and show you can be counted on\u2026..its not about you\u2026..be the friend\/sibling\/child\/parent\/lover\/whatever they need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/dave-signature.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"240\" height=\"101\" src=\"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/dave-signature.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-183\" srcset=\"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/dave-signature.jpg 240w, https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/dave-signature-150x63.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A death? Lost a job? A divorce? A natural disaster? Whatever? When people you know are going through a crisis this is the time for you to exhibit character. Here are rules to remember and how to do it the right way: This is your chance to show your colors, your character, and show you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,32,44],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1884","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-life","category-love"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1884","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1884"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1884\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1887,"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1884\/revisions\/1887"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1884"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1884"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daveorhelen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1884"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}